#24: Always know when to talk to girls about pooping.

Life Lesson 24: Always know when to talk to girls about pooping.

Well, in life there are some things that you can talk to anybody about, some things you can only talk to females about, and some things you can only talk to guys about. There are also some things that make some people uncomfortable and some things that make people grossed out.


A lot of females are easily grossed out by things such as pooping, farting, burping, and barfing.




Even though most girls do these things in life, they are rather grossed out by them.
When a guy talks to a girl about pooping or farting, she will most likely feel uncomfortable or grossed out. Pooping and farting are things you should not talk to a girl about.

But, there are exceptions!

When you first meet a girl you should filter your talk about poop to a girl.
If you know you're going to be in a relationship for a while, then you can talk about it some here and there, but slowly add it in, it is bound to come up in conversations.
As you go on in relationships some women become more comfortable with things such as that in conversations. Whether you want it to or not, things like poop, farting, burping, and barfing will all eventually happen and come up. So, just think yourself before you speak.

Especially if you want to keep a good relationship with a girl, I wouldn't say never talk to girls about pooping, but I would say watch who you talk to it about and when you talk to them about it.

#23: Never ask a girl out or break up over text, phone, voicemail,myspace, Facebook, twitter, or email; thats low and just lame.

Life Lesson 23: Never ask a girl out or break up over text, phone, voicemail, myspace, Facebook, twitter, or email; thats low and just lame.

I am sure that most of us have had girlfriends/boyfriends/significant others while growing up. During childhood or adolescent years, some kids are taken to cotillion and are taught to be prim and proper.

Most kids are also taught proper manners when they grow up. Though most kids are taught proper manners and ways of courtship, some are taught nothing or are taught the wrong way to do things such as these. There are also those who are taught these but forget them whether intentionally or accidentally.

Whether you are taught the right way or the wrong way to do said things, eventually in life you should desire to respect others and be respected by others. In doing this, face-to-face confrontation and being personal with people is very vital in every part of our lives. With social networking and people being overly glued to their cell phones it is even harder for people to be personal or have much face-to-face. People are less likely to act natural when talking to new people or to the opposite sex. Though social networking was designed to help us stay in communication with others and get closer to others, it has caused us to do that but while hiding behind computer screens.

Due to this we need to try to be more personal with people and work on more face-to-face confrontations. If we build relationships with people we see more they will be better relationships. If we avoid face-to-face and choose to talk just on computers or phones then we will not be as confident in our selves. If we want to have respect from others we must communicate with eye contact and not just on phones or computers. If you decide to start a relationship with a future significant other, if you don't do it in person that is pretty low and not cool at all.

So always remember to never ask a girl out or break up over text, phone, voicemail, myspace, Facebook, twitter, or email; thats low and just lame.

#20: Don't scratch your butt while holding hands.

Life Lesson 20: Don't scratch your butt while holding hands.


Okay, just go ahead and admit it, you scratch your butt on occasions. You might even do it in public; it's something we all do. Our butts itch, it's a part of life. And we all know that when something itches, the only wat to make that better is to scratch it. Scratching almost automatically helps itches fell way better! 


Holding hands is something that is usually rather significant in relationships. When you're in a relationship you tend to hold your significant other's hand a lot, whether your sitting, walking, or whatever you're doing. Holding hands with your significant other is something that helps the two of you feel connected; it's something that helps show everyone else that you two are together and you're in a relationship. It's a way to tell the world, "this person is mine!" 


Although while in holding hands in relationships is a big thing, sometimes there are times when you need to let go of the other person's hand, or things you shouldn't do while holding their hand. A big thing you should not do while holding your significant other's hand is scratch your butt. 


I'm pretty sure that they will find it pretty gross and weird if you decide to scratch your butt while holding their hand. 


A good solution to this is to just let go of their hand for a few moments. I highly doubt it will hurt you to let go for just a minute or two. If your butt really itches, just let go of their hand, scratch it, rid yourself of the itching, and then get back to holding hands. 


No matter how bad the itch may be, don't scratch your butt while holding hands. 

#22: Never dress you kids in matching clothes, they will most likely hate it.

Life Lesson 22: Never dress your kids in matching clothes, they will most likely hate it. 


A thing with parents who have kids that are either twins or are really close in age is this: they will most likely try to dress the kids in matching clothes. 

#21: Never take your purple belt to work, someone might steal it.

Life Lesson 21: Never take your purple belt to work, someone might steal it. 


Though most life lessons have come from real life events some have come from songs, movies, and tv shows. This is one of those that came from a tv show. This one actually came from The Office. It was an episode from Season 2 titled The Fight. 


In the episode Dwight had been taking karate lessons and he brought he purple belt to work. 
Also, if you are familiar with The Office then you know that Jim and Dwight have been playing constant pranks on each other since the beginning. This is part of one of them. 


In the episode this quote happens: 

Jim: That's not advice. What advice sounds like is, 'don't ever bring your purple belt to work, because someone might steal it.' [holds up Dwight's purple belt]
Dwight: Okay give that back to me. 
Jim: Say please. 
Dwight: No. That is not a toy. 
Jim: Please? 
Dwight: Please. 
Jim: Good. And it absolutely is a toy. Arigato. 

After watching that episode I felt that it should definitely be applied to a life lesson. I mean, it truly is something you should always keep in mind! I'm pretty sure that if you were to bring your purple belt to work others would either be jealous or would want to play a good prank on you and take it. 

So, always remember to never take your purple belt to work, someone might steal it. 

Also, here is the only video I could find from that scene. 

#19: Don’t burp in a girl’s mouth while making out.

Life Lesson 19: Don't burp in a girl's mouth while making out. 


Like I said in Life Lesson 18, many of these can be rather self explanatory; I guess this is also one of those. 


For some people burping is funny, for some it is gross, for some it may be impressive, and for some it is a sense of accomplishment. No matter what you think about burping, I'm pretty sure that if you kiss someone on a regular basis, I highly doubt you would want to burp in their mouth while you're making out with them or kissing them. 


Just like cuddling, kissing and making out is something that is really special between a couple. So, just like how you shouldn't fart under the covers while cuddling, you shouldn't burp in a girl's mouth while making out with or kissing her. 


I'm pretty positive that a girl would be really grossed out if you were making out and burped in her mouth. So, the only time this should even come close to happening is if it is absolutely accidental. 


So, remember; don't burp in a girl's mouth while making out. 

#18: Always be prepared no matter what the situation may be.

Life Lesson 18: Always be prepared no matter what the situation may be. 


Though slightly self explanatory, I'm sure there are plenty of people who wouldn't mind the explanation on life lessons such as this one.  


Honestly, most people don't think much before they go places, do things, etc. So, I'm here to help them. Whether you are going on a trip, going to lunch, about to play a concert, about to teach a class, etc. you should always be prepared. No matter what situation you are about to get yourself into you should always be prepared. 


One good way to be prepared is to make a checklist. Before you go do something or go somewhere, make sure you have a checklist of things you might need when going there or things you will do while there. 


Always make sure you have what you need before you go somewhere. The pocketpat is a good thing to do before even walking out of where you are. (For those who don't know, the pocketpat is where you pat your pockets to make sure you have necessary things in your pockets such as phone, iPod, wallet, pen, etc.) 


I could honestly go on and on with ways to help you, but like I said, this life lesson is pretty self-explanatory. No matter where you are going, what you're doing or going to do, always be prepared. There has been many times where I've gone to do something and then realized there was something else I should've had with me or should've done. 


So, always remember: always be prepared no matter what the situation may be. 

#17: Know what a game or activity involves before volunteering.

Life Lesson 17: Know what a game involves before volunteering. 


Like many, this one is based on true events, true people, and happened at Camp Robinson. 


During a service at Junior Camp of 2009 Pastor Brandon Goff needed a volunteer for an illustration during his sermon, and so a friend of ours, Ryan Green, came up to help him. Ryan had no idea what was ahead of him or what was about to happen. Brandon was preaching about having baggage and things that hold us back. When Ryan got up front, Brandon gave him two grocery bags full of potatoes. Ryan was asked to do activities such as push ups, punches, jumping jacks, etc. while having the bags of potatoes on his wrists the entire time. After doing said activities Ryan was asked if it was more difficult to do it with or without the bags of potatoes around his wrists. He of course said it was easier without them. 


When Ryan went up front to help, he had no idea what he was about to do. All he knew was that he was volunteering to help. I'm sure if he knew what he would've had to do, he probably would have thought twice about going up there. 


Another quick story. One time we were doing a fear factor thing at church. We had to make bets on how much of something we would eat/drink. I ended up winning at 16, not knowing what I would have to eat/drink. When I got up there I found out that I just volunteered to eat 16 habanero peppers. That was not exactly a great experience. My pulse went crazy, and I stayed up most of the night. You don't want to try that. I probably won't try it again and probably wouldn't have done it if I knew what was in store.


I could go on and on giving stories and examples, but I'm sure you get the point. This happens to us a lot of times in life. We will volunteer to help at events or to help people with things and then when we start working and helping we find ourselves complaining or not happy with what we volunteered to do. 


Whatever it is in life, always remember: Know what a game or activity involves before volunteering. 

#16: Don’t fart under covers when cuddling.

Life Lesson 16: Don't fart under the covers when cuddling. 


Incase you had any bit of curiosity, I am here to tell you that it is indeed a bad idea to fart when cuddling. Most people are aware of the fact that when you fart, its smell liable to stay around for some time. Also, most of us know that when you fart under the covers the smell stays around even longer since you have trapped it under the covers. 


Oh, and remember, you don't want to try to fan/flap the covers, because that won't necessarily get the smell out of the covers; it will actually send the smell in your direction, thus making you have to smell the fart even longer. 


Most women are usually grossed out by farts; whether it be the smell or the sound, most women are grossed out by them. Also it is courteous to not fart in public or around women. And due to these reasonings, you don't want to fart around women. 


Most people enjoy cuddling. Cuddling is greatly valued in relationships. I'll admit i LOVE cuddling. It is a great time that you can spend with your significant other, just simply enjoying time and closeness with each other. 


Since we all love cuddling, and most people don't appreciate farts, they shouldn't be combined or shouldn't happen in the same situation. Farting is something you shouldn't do while cuddling. It will probably and will definitely ruin the moment. 


So, just remember, don't fart under the covers when cuddling. 

#15: Don’t fart louder than the song playing.

 

Life Lesson 15: Don’t fart louder than the song playing. 

Usually this is something very difficult. It's mainly possible to do if it's an acoustic song, you're listening to a song on the radio, or the volume is low. 

Most of the time it is actually advised to keep the volume of your farts at a lower volume. If you are capable of doing this, then you should try to do it at a lower volume rather than farting as loud as possible. 

If you fart while a song is playing either in the car, at the store, or at a concert/show, then you should definitely hope that you don't fart louder than the song currently playing. 

I understand that some times we just can't control our stomach and its gases, so it can be rather hard to keep them at a lower volume. Though it can be hard to do make them sound quieter, if you must release gas that is loud, then you should go to the other room. 

When farting louder than the song playing, it can possibly embarrass you and whoever else may be with you. I think it's weird that burping doesn't embarrass us, but farting does, even though sometimes they don't smell.. 

But, either way, always make sure you don't fart louder than the song playing. 

Do you know anyone who has farted louder than the song playing? 

#14: Kicked sand is not worth crying over.

Life Lesson 14: Kicked sand is not worth crying over.
One night at camp we were playing volleyball. The game was getting really competitive and intense. Devin kicked some sand in my direction out of frustration at himself, so I responded by kicking sand back in his direction.  My kick of sand was much larger than his was. He jokingly made it seem as if he was crying. I looked at him saying, "hey man, kicked sand is not worth crying over!" He responded with agreement.

Immediately after that conversation we decided that the statement I made should become a life lesson.  After the game I wrote it in and added it to the list.

To this day, every time we play volleyball we agree that kicked sand is not worth crying over.

Kicked sand may be an accident or on purpose, but either way it's not worth crying over! There are several things in life, joyous, sad, etc, that are worth crying over, but kicked sand is not one.

So always remember when playing volleyball, at the beach, hanging out in a sandbox, or any location with lots of sand, that kicked sand is not worth crying over.

#13: Chicken sammiches and waffle fries are best when free.

Life Lesson 13:  Chicken sammiches and waffle fries are best when free.

This was made one day at camp, like many. I had a shirt that said, "give me a chicken sammich and some waffle fries for free"! The shirt is based off a YouTube video titled "unforgivable". We made a few jokes that week concerning the shirt and the video. 

One night while playing volleyball, Devin looked at me and said, "you know, chicken sammiches and waffle fries are best when free!" I of course agreed. 

Since then, we have agreed that chicken sammiches and waffle fries would be much better if they were free. Which most things in life would be better if they were free. We all know that Chick-fil-A has amazing food; their chicken sammiches and waffle fries are the best. I’m pretty sure we would much rather get them for free than have to pay 6ish dollars. 

Thus the truth that chicken sammiches and waffle fries are best when free. 

#12: Never take a dump the first time you go to your girlfriend's house.

Life Lesson 12: Never take a dump the first time you go to your girlfriend's house.

Majority of dumps, poops, whatever you want to call them, usually have quite the stench  to them and don't smell pleasant at all. 

Also usually the first time you go to your girlfriend's house you want to try to make a good impression on her and her family. And making the house stink due to your poop is the opposite of a good impression! Her parents may think that you are weird and have a crazy digestive system or something. Sometimes later on done the road you might be at a good place in the relationship where you can possibly poop at her house.

But, no matter what always remember, even if you think it doesn't stink, it probably does. 

So, never take dump the first time you go to your girlfriend's house.  

#11: Cleaning your ears and nose is a must.

Life Lesson 11: Cleaning your ears and nose is a must.

This is one of those life lessons that randomly came about. It's also a common sense life lesson. I mean if you don't know that you should clean your ears and nose then you're pretty weird.  

If you want to be successful in almost any and every part of life, you should clean your ears and nose. Excess ear wax and dry skin in you ears are gross, especially if it's noticeable. Also boogers and such things in your nose are gross if noticeable. 

Overall cleaning your ears and nose is a must. That's a life lesson that everyone should know and follow!